Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
