ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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