So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
