I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
