Your face is a jimmy john
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
