Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
