Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
