I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
