You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
