i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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