garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
