I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
