guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize