One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
