my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
