Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
