She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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