Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
