IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
