Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
