The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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