I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
