Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
