my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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