Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
