i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
