Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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