so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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