My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
