So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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