i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
