My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
