I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
