Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
