good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
