Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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