I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she smelled like a LAN party
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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