Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
