You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i think i just lost a toe
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
