He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
