I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
