there's paper in my vomit.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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