Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
