FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
