youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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