my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
