if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
