She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
