im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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