I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
